Friday, August 26, 2011

Adult Peer Pressure?

August 28, 2011
Twenty-Second Sunday in Ordinary Time
Jeremiah 20:7-9 - Jeremiah laments but cannot fail to speak in God's name.
Psalm 63:2-6,8-9 - Our souls yearn for God.
Romans 12:1-2 - Paul encourages the Romans to stay faithful to God.
Matthew 16:21-27 - Jesus speaks of his Passion and rebukes Peter for his objection.

At some point in my youth I had heard the term peer pressure until it became trite. "Peer pressure this... Peer pressure that... Avoid, avoid, avoid." Now that I'm an adult, those warnings seem warranted. More than a few of my poor college decisions were the result of peer pressure. Oops! Live and learn, I guess.

The readings this Sunday remind us that peer pressure doesn't end when we reach adulthood. Jeremiah laments that he, even when he tries to submit to the pressures of his society, cannot turn away from God. He says this about when he tries to repress of his desire to speak of God:
But the it becomes like fire burning in my heart, imprisoned in my bones; I grow weary holding it in, I cannot endure it.
The gospel portrays Peter pressuring Jesus to rise up against Israel. To fight against Roman oppression like the disciples thought he would. But Jesus rebukes Peter calling him "Satan" and reminding us that following God's ways are not easy, even our friends can steer us wrong.

Finally, the beautiful lines from Paul's Letter to the Romans reminds us that every generation will face peer pressure:
Do not conform yourselves to this age
but be transformed by the renewal of your mind,
that you may discern what is the will of God,
what is good and pleasing and perfect.
Today, when industrialization is killing our environment, people are starving throughout the world, and we don't think twice about the amount of polution created by eating a hunk of Argentinean beef, we must ask ourselves tough questions. How we conform to this age? How do we allow the pressures of society, government, peers, even (maybe especially) Church, to prevent us from being a living sacrifice, doing what is good and pleasing and perfect in God's sight?  Liberation Theology and Vatican II got it right, we must pay attention to "the signs of the times."  We must face adult peer pressure by recalling the burning fire in our bones for God, justice and love, and be transformed by renewing our minds.

Friday, August 19, 2011

The Doubting Jesus

August 21, 2011
Twenty-First Sunday in Ordinary Time
Is 22:19-23
Rom 11:33-36
Mt 16:13-20


What Jesus knew about himself and his role in salvation has always bothered me. In high school I remember thinking, "if he knew that his death would save the whole world, how hard could it have been to make the sacrifice?" Allow "high school Mark" some leeway on this because, while the question was a bit naive, it points to a bigger question, the question of Jesus' self-knowledge.

Traditional Christian logic would follow like this: God is all-knowing, Jesus is God, therefore Jesus is all-knowing. This same logic traditionally reads this famous gospel story as Jesus testing his disciples and finding Peter to be his number one pupil. Try a different approach, try reading the story from the perspective of Jesus' humanity.

Hiding out in Caesarea Philippi far north of Jerusalem, maybe Jesus pondered his own ministry. Maybe his thoughts went something like this: First, John, my one-time mentor and cousin, was beheaded by Herod for stirring up the people. Am I next? And the last time I encountered the leaders of my own people, men who I studied with growing up - the Pharisees and Saducees - I insulted them, calling them hypocrites. And recently, while fleeing my homeland for safety's sake, a poor gentile woman kept calling to me, begging that I heal her daughter. When I finally listened, my what faith she had! What is my Father asking of me? Who is God asking me to be?

Is it wrong to think that Jesus's humanity often left him in such doubt, wondering to what God was calling him? Doubt is not a sin, so long as we do not bow to it. When Jesus asked the disciples "Who do you say that I am?", couldn't it have been because he wasn't yet sure? And isn't that what discerning people do - take their doubt prayerfully to those who love them? Today's passage from Romans says: "For who has known the mind of the Lord or who has been his counselor?"

Yet, we scorn ourselves when we doubt. We allow uncertainty and the unknown to haunt us instead of embracing them with a spirit of discernment, asking our friends and familes how they see us. A great lesson from Jesus this week is exactly this: when we struggle to know who and whose we are, we should not fear asking our friends for help. Identifying God's call in our life is never an individual task, but always one in which we need to call up our community. In times of struggle, may we remember Jesus' response to adversity, allowing ourselves the freedom to doubt, and taking those doubts to people who love us.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

The Faith of Canaanites

August 14, 2011
Twentieth Sunday in Ordinary Time
Is 56:1, 6-7
Rom 11:13-15, 29-32
Mt 15:21-28

A quick preliminary note: In the United States we have an option of transferring Monday's readings from the Feast of the Assumption to the Sunday prior. You may not hear the above readings at mass.

In the Gospel Jesus calls a woman a dog, there's no two ways around it. Some biblical scholars have claimed that in the original Greek the word used was better translated with an affectionate tone, like puppy or lap dog, but they're just evading the truth - Jesus called a woman a dog.

You might not believe me. You might think I'm crazy. "Jesus, divine love incarnate, would not do such a thing," you might be saying. But, according to the the author of Matthew, he did. And, call me crazy, but I love this passage. I love what it says about Jesus' humanity and divinity. I love what that further reveals about God. A closer examination of the reading will show you what I mean.

By the time Jesus walked the streets of Jerusalem Canaanites didn't exist. The Jews had seen to their destruction years earlier. Calling someone a Canaanite was like calling someone a Benedict Arnold - everybody knew exactly what you meant and it wasn't very nice. Actually, it's worse than not nice. Calling someone a Canaanite is saying "you're the lowest of the low, you don't even exist."

Jesus was human and accordingly he was a man of his culture, place, and time. Sure, Jesus hung out with sinners, but usually Jewish sinners, not random Gentile women from far north of Israel. Jesus even goes so far as saying, "I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel." That is, not to Gentiles, and definitely not to this Canaanite woman.

But something powerful happens in their encounter. After ignoring her, ordering the disciples to send her away, and then insulting her, Jesus changes his mind. Something in him shifts. Her faith - the faith of the one that barely exists in his eyes - is a mission altering encounter for Jesus. Her faith not only heals her daughter, but widens Jesus' mission from Israel to the whole world.

There's plenty of evidence for this in the rest of the gospel. For instance, just before their encounter Jesus fed 5000 hungry families - all Israelites; but after their encounter when Jesus feeds 4000 more families they're all Gentiles. His vision of salvation grows to include all of humanity because of this women, a woman seen at the time as nonexistent and hated.

If we believe that Jesus is the revelation of God, that Jesus reveals to us Who God is, then the image of a Jesus who changes, grows, and allows for his vision of love to widen tells us that we have a God that does the same. We have a God who hears prayers, especially those of the poor and outcast, and changes His plan for them. We have a God who hears the persistent prayers of a people of faith and adapts to love them better.

When I ask myself how I can become more like Christ, I find myself wondering who are today's Canaanites. What people do I ignore? What people do I refuse to listen to? What people do I ask my friends, family, and coworkers to dismiss on my behalf?

The homeless guy I try not to make eye contact with - Canaanite.

My grandma who lives at a retirement center that I rarely call or visit - Canaanite.

The coworker I ignore or am cold to - Canaanite.

The poor Salvadoran whose land was taken to mine gold for yet another gift for someone I love - Canaanite.

How can I be more aware of these people? What can their faith teach me? How can I grow to love them, and the world, more fully? This is the challenge of the gospel then and today. May it change us like it did Christ.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

To Be Seen by the Crucified People

This is the personal knowledge that does not distance us from the world but brings us into community, face to face. A knowledge that heals and makes whole will come as we look creation in the eyes and allow it to look back, not only searching nature but allowing it to search us as well.
- Parker Palmer

* * * * *

Forgive me for this final delayed entry. The last ten days have been a fast-paced, no-holds-bar, all-out assault on my body, mind, and soul. The corporal readjustment from hot to cold and beans to no beans would have been enough for anyone, but the last week was more experientially generous than you can imagine. Yes, there was the transition to speaking and spending American, but the real wrestling came with some long-term life/employment questions. A quick summary for those wondering: I turned down the best job for me in CLE+ (an environmental theology teaching position at St. Martin de Porres), canceled all future campus ministry job interviews, and decided to channel Good Will Hunting and say "if the Professor calls about that job, just tell him, sorry, I have to go see about a girl." So yeah, I'll be moving to Charlotte sometime before September. I'd rather have a life than a job.

Yet, through all the chaos of week one stateside, a blog post has been brewing in the depths of my head and heart. Admittedly, I'm conflicted. I want to summarize, highlight, lowlight, reflect, provoke, inspire, honor, cherish and so forth, but all that seems too lofty for this space. What I've decided to leave you with is the reason I go (and the reason I want others to go) to El Salvador.

Often we hear missionaries and pilgrims say that seeing poverty changed their lives. When I returned from the Dominican Republic in 2002 I'm this line played on repeat from the speaker that is my mouth. After four trips to El Salvador, all with students and first time travelers, I believe that its only partial, tangential truth. Years ago I couldn't articulate the deeper, more fundamental experience that occurs when we (read: rich people; and yes, you're a rich person) visit the poor. I am not sure I can articulate it now, but its why I go, so I'll try.

* * * * *
For our knowledge is imperfect and our prophesying is imperfect;
but once perfection comes all imperfect things will disappear...

Now we are seeing a dim reflection in a mirror;
but then we shall be seeing face to face.

The knowledge I have now is imperfect;
but then I shall know as fully as I am known.
1 Cor. 13: 9-10, 12

* * * * *

St. Paul writes that our self-image is blurry at best, but at the time of perfection we will see clearly, face to face. Our self-knowledge, he goes on, is limited until we are seen fully. I'm no student of Paul. He could as easily be talking about Christ's second coming as he could the fall of the Roman Empire, but reading this through the "Dean Brackley lens" I have come to think this: when we are seen by the "crucified people" of El Salvador face to face we begin to see ourselves as they see us, which is how God sees us. Broken, yet miraculously whole. Sinful, yet wholly loveable. This is not how we were taught to see ourselves. American culture tells us we need to look this way, dress like that, drive one of these, and have sex with one of those. But when they look at us, when we are seen for the God-image that we are, those cultural chains lose their weight. Life becomes lighter, love becomes possible. This is the Salvadoran experience: to know as fully as we are known.

Thomas Merton says this:
"But God communicates Life and Spirit to humanity. It is not God's plan to lure the soul out of the body, but to sanctify the two together, divinizing the whole person so that Christian can say: 'I live, now not I but Christ liveth in me. And that I now live in the flesh, I live in the faith of the Son of God Who loved me.'"
Divinization at the hands of the poor. To live in the faith that the crucified people of El Salvador have seen us and have univocally determined that we are loveable. This is why I go and why I want other people to go.

Encountering this self-image in the eyes of the poor is not without responsibility. Parker Palmer is quiet clear. This personal knowledge demands that we engage the world, demands that we enter into community. Solidarity is not easy with a people who suffer. Sustained community is not easy with people thousands of miles away. But once we take this road, once we are seen and begin to see, nothing seems impossible.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

John the Baptist = Dean Brackley?

Cormac Mccarthy is not a good author to read while living in a third-world country. He describes a God that is "unmoving, austere, implacable" and Who's justice, if it exists, is post-history. Justice, for his God, might be an afterthought, but it might also actually be the seemingly unmediated world we live in where more people are hungry, sick, underpaid, under-loved, and treated with indignity than not.

Living in El Salvador, witnessing the struggle for food, education, health, freedom, democracy, dignity and all the rest scares me to death sometimes. At timesI buy into Mccarthy's vision of God. I buy into the idea that evil will win, that justice is not possible, that there will always be the forgotten poor and the forgetful rich.

Then from the wilderness I hear a voice. (This wilderness happens to be Rafa's bookshelf and the voice if of Dean Brackley, S.J., who was the first Jesuit to transfer here after the six were assassinated, the author of The Call to Discernment in Troubled Times which happened to be sitting in English with a personal inscription on Rafa's bookshelf, and whom I had lunch with on this week at the UCA.)
Faith affirms that God's Reign irrupts into this world and advances in the heart of history, within and beyond these often-ambiguous movements. In the end, faith is not based on those movements, but on a deeper experience, a shared sense that, despite egoism, suffering, and death, life is worth the trouble. It springs from the internal conviction that sacrifice, love of neighbor, and celebration make sense, less because of apparent facts than despite them. The easy smile of the poor and the severely handicapped and their readiness to celebrate have a basis in reality. While they show us that life is more cruel and evil, more tenacious than we ordinarily admit, they also help us recognize that there is something going on in the world that is much more wonderful than we had imagined. The experience of this quiet assurance - that it makes sense to struggle and to celebrate - is our solid grounds for hope. It is experience of such a kind that we cannot give full account of it. And yet it furnishes sufficient reason to believe in God's Reign, reason enough to trump the evidence to the contrary. Though I cannot always explain why, deep in my heart I do believe that we shall overcome some day...love and community are possible, and not simply in exceptional corners of an unloving world. And if life and truth and love will have the last word, then history has direction, although it has less to do with conventional measures of progress than with crosses and resurrections.
Dean Brackley, S.J.

And there it is - I'm off to work, to teach English, dignity, love, justice, and to believe those things are possible.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Pupatating People

Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant searching for fine pearls.
When she finds a pearl of great price, she goes and sells all that she has and buys it.

The very hungry caterpillar is dead. The second graders killed her on Tuesday. They also abruptly ended one of Mrs. Frizzle and the magic school bus’ famed field trips. I’m not sure if they salvaged the bus or if it went to the junkyard, but Mrs. Frizzle’s students surely went home disappointed.

When books die everyone loses. Killing a book by cutting it up for an art project turns an educational tool, a tool which has the power to overcome poverty through knowledge, into trash can filler. But, for some reason, a teacher here didn’t see it that way. I don’t know what she saw. Maybe she saw me having the kids write books and cut out images from magazines for the pictures. Maybe she was trying to use some of the materials sent creatively in her class. Or maybe she saw stacks upon stacks of books written in a language she does not understand and could not imagine how to integrate into her classes other than removing the part that confused her – the words. I really don’t know. At this point, I’m not even asking why. I didn’t come to Agua Caliente to look backward, but to look forward, to look toward the future for these kids.

Ever since my very hungry friend failed to pupatate I’ve thought a great deal about the teachers here, their education, motivation, and classroom preparation. I’ve thought about the kids, their smiles and joy, what an education can mean for them, how the school here can be for them the story of metamorphosis that they cut to pieces. The problem, it seems, that always interrupts my dreams for their future is the past. The past is never quite behind us, it formed us and continues to push us forward.

An explanation: when I witness the ancient, and often torturous, pedagogical practices of our teachers (one example being the 4th graders writing every twentieth number from 0 to 1,000,000 so they “could know they existed”) and I try to remind myself that this is how the teachers were taught too. And, at the elementary school that they attended, where teachers are known to attend class drunk, not show up regularly, and do other worse things to students, the education we provide is an improvement. For our teachers, showing up every day and “teaching” is a stark improvement on what their past told taught them was a teacher. The past forms are present.

For 12 years during the Salvadoran civil war people were “disappeared”. Really, since the Spanish showed up until today the very lives of native people/poor people have been seen as disposable. Just last summer, when two environmentalists “disappeared” because they spoke out against the Canadian cyanide-leach gold mining outfit Pacific Rim, the government blamed it on gangs. For centuries the people here have been trained to think that everything, even their lives, is disposable. This is why the streets are filled with trash, why they don’t see the beauty of the landscape, why 3:00 pm always means sometime around 3:40, and why a teacher thought it a good idea to dismember the very hungry caterpillar.

Fatima, a future English teacher and friend from Agua Caliente, has been observing my classes lately. This embarrasses me. I am not trained to teach ESL or elementary kids and my daily preparation is less than it should be (but heck, I’ve got 7 preps ranging from first grade to adults, what can you expect?!?!). When I ask Fatima why she wants to watch me, she says it’s because I use all the techniques she’s learning about in school. I can’t tell you what these are in English, let alone in Spanish. My class often just happens – like the other day when my planned 10 minute demonstration of the game “Go Fish” turned into the kids teaching each other how to play the game, with them forming teams to reinforce the newly learned question and response to the kids who hadn’t memorized it yet. They taught each other; Fatima and I sat and watched. I had no clue this would happen, but I did not fear letting it happen. I’m glad she witnessed it because this approach to learning is nowhere to be found in Agua Caliente. But I’m also glad she witnessed it because she knew my lesson plan was different. She watched a teacher demonstrating the courage to be different, tolerance of the failures and frustrations that lead to learning, the decisiveness to make the decision to adapt a lesson on the fly, the humility to acknowledge that the students knew how to learn the material better than I did, love of the process – of making it happen and appreciating it when it does, the self-security to allow the students to venture into the educational unknown, and a teacher who braved the wilderness of patience with engaged student discovery. In seeing all of these she saw my utter joy in watching it all unfold. This was a gem of a lesson to observe and I’m well aware that most days my classes don’t even come close to resembling it.

Paulo Feire writes in Teachers As Cultural Workers, that these qualities: humility, lovingness, courage, tolerance, decisiveness, security, the tension between patient and impatience, and the joy of living are necessary, on top of solid pedagogy, for a teacher to be progressively democratic. I don’t know about “progressively democratic,” but I’d say those are the qualities a teacher needs to succeed in educating his students. I’d even say those are simply the qualities that a person needs to succeed in being human.

Am I angry that those books, so generously donated by my friends in Kent, were destroyed? Yes. But even more so I moved to compassion for how the Salvadoran people view themselves and the world around them. Training these teachers to be effective in their classrooms involves more than showing them some best practices, it involves lifting their self-worth and self-value above what they’ve been trained to allow for themselves. Before they can employ all the qualities listed by Freire, they first need to be able to acknowledge that some things are not disposable. Some things have an innate value that nothing can take away. Until they come to realize that they are that thing, that they are the pearl of great price, the education will lack. This is a slow process, to be sure, but the most important of processes. While I can guarantee you that before this happens you can train for and run a marathon, I can also guarantee you that only through educating the Salvadoran people will we see the reign of God – a world community free from the suffering of indignity and worthlessness – fully manifest itself in the present.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Running Up a Mountain...

There are least two perks from my odd morning ritual:
1) The view after 3 miles of up hill.
2) Feeling super fast on the second half of the run.


The speckles of white on the left between the three hills is Agua Caliente.