On My Way

I'm on my way;
I'm on my way;
I'm on my way back to where I started.

- "Down in the Valley" by The Head and the Heart

Early tomorrow I embark on yet another - my fifth - trip to El Salvador.  January 5 is the same day I traveled there last year, but this time its quite a bit different.  Other than us celebrating yet another important sacrament, almost everything else has changed - at least for me.

Last year, I was staying for three months.  This year its not even a full week.
Last year, I was living in Ohio, jobless.  This year I'm working full-time in North Carolina.
Last year, I was representing Kent's Newman Center.  This year I'll visit my new parish's sister community.

You get the point, for me, everything about the trip is different.  This sense of difference reminds me of why we started a relationship with Fr. Rafael and his ministries in the first place - to bring about change.  Yet, this year in Agua Caliente what is different?  The school is still struggling financially.  Marta and her group of teachers is still fighting against an uneducated culture.  The diocese is still not supporting the Newman Center's efforts.  Oly, Alicia, Santanita, Jamie, Freddi and the whole lot are still struggling for themselves and their children.  Is life so different for them?

Guilt is my first reaction.  Guilt because of the life my birth country allows me to live.   Guilt because of the little I do to change the lives my friends live in Agua Caliente.  But we can't live fruitful lives from a place of guilt and so I hope that my guilt can be washed away in Jimenita's baptismal waters.  That I can rise up with her from those waters a new being, one that works for justice from a place of love - not guilt - like the priest, prophet and king that I was anointed to be in my own baptism.  This is my hope and without it there will be no kingdom...pray for all those who need us (read: the U.S.) to be more mindful of their existence.